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Life's a beach... Surf it up!
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Trying is the first step towards failure
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?
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Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand
alone
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I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet
patch of ice!
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When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better
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To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's
problems
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WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE
HeLL OuT oF YoU!
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When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
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Gravity always wins
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The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay
drunk.
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There are some that are wise and others that are
otherwise
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I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to
meetings
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Buy land, they have quit making it!
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Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that
counts
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I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every
minute of it
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Eat healthy, exercise more, still die
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Politicians prefer unarmed peasants
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