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Some people say "shoot" instead of "shit." They can't
fool me, man. "Shoot" is "shit" with two o's
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There's too much blood in my caffeine system
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A clean house is a sign of a misspent life
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Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
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It tastes like burning
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Take my advice, I don't use it anyway
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May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
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Its a shame that stupidity isn't painful
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I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
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Love me ore leave me. Hey! Where's everybody going??
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Life is one of those things that most of us find very
difficult to avoid
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On the road of life, don't forget to stop and eat the
roses
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A honest person is someone you could play checkers with
over the phone
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If I am what I eat them I am cheap, quick, and easy
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to
complain
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Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle
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We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get
worse
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told
me I was being ridiculous. Everyone hadn't met me yet
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We are searching for rational reasons for believing in
the absurd
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More and more of our imports come from overseas...
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